suffocating

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


Hye there.

Have you ever feel people around you very suffocating? yes indeed they care about you but sometimes they make you miserable. I heard some bad talking about myself. Everything I do is wrong. Everything I want is wrong. Who am I to satisfy them? I am not a magician who can give them whatever they want by simply swing my magic star. *sighhh..

Until yesterday i can't hold my patience any longer. It has reached its maximum level for a such long time. I'm sorry for not following your words. I'm sorry if my silence enough for you to say i am a rude girl. For some reason I hate myself for whom am I. To speak out what I felt is something that very difficult for me to do. Especially when i have to against people. Can someone tell me what it takes to be an extrovert?sad

Dear you.
I'm truly sorry. For what you've done yesterday is all enough. 










denial

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:



When you start reasoning his/her behaviors
it is not Love anymore

it is what we called Denial



love is you!

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


Love is old

Love is new

Love is all

Love is you

-the beatles-


our photo album is 60% done love struck 



re-construction

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,




Our Story Album is yet to come

it is under re-construction!!

winking


~ it almost 8 months since i worked on it ~
tak siap-siap. hehe

i promise it is going to be done soon 
very soon :)



blood taking procedure

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


It is almost 3 weeks since I had my professional exam paper and i have to admit that lots of thing i've forgotten! huhhhhhh..memang selame ni belaja untuk exam je ke?? huhhh..

Tak boleh jadi nih. kene belaja balik nih! cemane nk keje kalau banyak bende dah lupe T__T nanti sie2 je selalu kene marah..huhu

Taking blood procedure is a routine for a house officer. So why don't we have some tips review on it. It seems to be very simple..yahhhh it is a simple procedure especially if you're patient is young. But what if your patient is old? when their vessels are collapsing.

1) Prepare things you need in kidney dish before you approach patient (nampak professional sket) heheh. So what are the things you need for blood taking procedure? Needle and syringe is a must! alcohol swab. cotton. tourniquet. tubes for investigations. and GLOVE! (i usually did not wear glove..tp skrg mcm dah insaf je. kene jugak gune glove!!)

2) Smile. Introduce. Explain why this procedure has to be done and Permission - Apply what we've learnt in PPD module ;)

3) Apply tourniquet. Not so tight not too loose. Just nice to help us to see and feel the veins easily. there are many types of tourniquet but usually gune latex glove jek..

4) Choose the most suitable site. Firstly access where is the most prominent vein! choose the big one! not necessary it is to be visible. Sometimes yang tak visible but palpable laaa yg senang nak keluar darah :)

4) If still not visible or palpable. Ask patient to make a fist to further distend the veins. from my experience..many doctors yang tepuk2 tangan patient (on veins area) intended to make the veins more visible. Dont know whether it works or not. hehe.

5) If both veins on both arms are suitable. Choose the non dominant one ye..

6) Then Apply alcohol swab. besides it helps kill the organism on the puncture area it also shines the skin making the veins more visible. 

7) By using you left index finger feel the veins. While the rest of your left fingers stretching the skin(this tips is very important for old people cos their skin is much loose)

8) Needle and syringe hold by the right hands and start puncture confidently on tat particular vein you palpating.

9) once puncture..alert the abrupt blood flow upwards inside the needle. Once you noticed it..stay on that position and syringe out the blood quickly. nanti clot susah. usually..if you are on the correct position..the blood easily be syringed out without you have to force it out :) if you're not then the blood flow jadi tersekat2 mehhh..really frustrating!

10) Finish sucking then release the tourniquet. take cotton and then take out the needle :)


habes dah. simple but sometimes it can be really frustrating in case of older / obese patient and patients who are on blood thinners. huhu.. 

Technique in Taking Arterial Blood Gasses(ABG) is almost the same but what makes it different is the site la kan. name pon arterial. In taking arterial blood you must have a very sensitive pulp finger so that it can sense the arterial pulsation easily. Plus u have to wear glove..agak mencabar sket. but as long as you a pro in anatomy..it helps u a lot :) 

haaa..before you puncture the artery..you need to syringe in heparin and then syringe out it back to prevent the blood from clotting. kalau tak nanti..system will reject ur sample and you have to re-do. huhu..if you have the ABG analyzer in your place..you can simply ask the nurses to do it for you or you can do it by urself immediately.. but if you have to send it to laboratory.. you need to put the sample on ice pack then baru hantar ke lab..







putrajaya thumbs up!

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


thumbs up!!
Putrajayahhh

still my favourite place to go for lepak-ing ;)



April - Friendship month!

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

 post-result-day celebration
mucho gracias to Ezzati for the lunch treat ;)
 Dinner final year at Grand Season Ballroom
not really exciting cos everybody still nervous
(sbb mase ni result tak dapat lg plus it was held on the last day of exam -_-")
 with my long2 best friend! Nor Azliana
I love you so much nana!
 with my beserian best friends! mina-veetha-ana
everybody get laugh and crazy!


yes tats it!! April '12 my friendship month!
friend forever friends ;)
triple F huh?






1000 years

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer


I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer


I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more 




tak salah beremosi kan?
i've been listening to tis song over and over again
 




bright sky

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:





and I really hope

my sky will always be bright

:)





say a little prayer for you

Author: ctjuliana /



Dear blog
today i woke up with big smile on my face
because i knew today is going to be a wonderful day
guess wut?? i will meet up with my girls!!
but unfortunately..
beautiful day i had ended with some bad news
news tat made my heart trembled :(

I was asking myself
Why i have to hear it today. why?
Why i have to hear it in such way. why?

As I on my way back home from Kelana Jaya Putra LRT
the surrounding was so quiet as only few people in the train
it inspired me to flashback the news

I keep on thinking
each and every moments
run through my mind
like thunder lights
the storm i felt so hurtful
but there were no tears. at all.
and then i suddenly realized
i was holding my cardigan so tight :(

As I arrived home
after clean up myself
i called HIM
cause  I know
He is the only one I could turn to

Short while 
the storm I felt is gone
and i know
The trust is still there :)



~ currently listening to say a little prayer for you ~






don't be sad :(

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,


" Guard your heart by remembers Him. Bcos.. it is where do hearts find peace "

 
they say..

" Human being is known to be loved. But Allah must be loved to be known " 

Don't be sad. Think positive. Allah is always there for your call :)


nice saying..

If Allah answers ur prayer, He is increasing ur faith. If He delays, He is increasing ur patience. If He doesn't.. He has something better for you :)





shes engaged!

Author: ctjuliana /

 mak and abah with the newly engaged couple!
 here we go. shy2 cat newly engaged couple!
 aidil-aiman- and abg ajim in d house!
 aunty. kak shana and kak sara oso in d house!
 d other side of family
 d hantaranssss (d classic sirih junjung is missing in tis pix!)
 me and her
 my lovely sista!
 kak ina and abg zaidi in d house!
 abg hasrul and kak norma too!
 abg izham and kak saad too!
and tis is si kenit yg gatal. kecik2 da gatal ye!



relatives..sorry for not updating it in the fb! tuan punye badan tak kasik. malu kate nye. (der maybe a hidden reason which they refuse to share with us!) takpe..updating it here is also nice kan. hehe..again guys..thanks for coming!


Congratulation angah!! :)





breach of contract

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


Recently i face another feeling. A feeling tat make my heart tender. It usually happened to a woman. i said usually. If you ever ask any woman..they probably will give a pain description like this.."deep sharp pain on the left side of the chest". non radiating ofcos! kalau radiate tuh da mcm heart attack la pulak kan. hehe

Guess wut? It is a jealousy type of pain. i never felt tis kind of pain before. it was my first time. and i tell you..it is hurtful. Thankful it happened! bcos..with tat i became realize tat i love tat person more than i expected(^^). 

So guys..jealousy is somethg good ke? or the other way around? it is good! jealousy is good! but it always be bad if it exist excessively! there was a psychologist who wrote about jealousy and she described jealousy as a dumbbell shape graph! can u imagine? level of jealousy versus level of love! fuhhhh..da mcm stress dumbbell graph je I tgk! but it makes sense! if you get jealous too excessive..the love graph will drop in the same manner too..huhu. 

People always says "think before u act". so why dont you think before you act? women easily gone irrational. i admit it. they are sensitive. they are easily get irritable. and they are easily get blown by their emotions! again..i admit it. but only few who are really use their brain instead of their feeling. i am surrounded by many friends who get wounded by jealousy. somehow..their experience has taught me the meaning of think and patience. 

 So wut makes people stay in love? like wut William Shakespeare said.."falling in love is easy but staying in love is hard". it becomes harder if you are apart. I've watched 1 of Dato' Fadzillah Kamsah programme recently. ape tah tajuk nye..but it is in the tv! he said couples that compliment each other stay longer than couples that don’t. Such things as ‘you look beautiful’, ‘that’s a beautiful dress’, ‘I love your hairstyle’, ‘after all these years, I still love the way you smile’, such things should never forgotten. Whatever you admired about that person when you first met, should continue. Whatever you liked about that person when you first met, should continue. Whatever made you fall in love with that person, should continue. huhu.. 

The best part in his talk was "breach of contract". Dont ever ever breach the contract between two! people starts their relationship based on idea to keep each other till the end(this is exception for the liers lah kan). then they start promising each other. promising is easy but committing to make it happen is difficult. that is why knowing each other is real necessary to start a relationship. one might step away from the idea to keep each other till the end after sometime of feeling unsatisfied. without a good communication between two..heart broken is its risk!usually..only one sided get the risk. seems to be unfair kan? huhu 

One of the thing tat is being highlighted by dato' is communication. women are well known of their non verbal communication (which is not good..dato' yg cakap ye). i myself selalu je non verbally show off my emotion. hehe! wut to do..im a woman too! a good communication is with open mind and heart. The willingness to share stories and feelings. To forgive and improve each other for a long lasting relationship :) 

Hence..i myself pon kene less kan my non verbal communication for my better relationship! hehe. 


Dr. Juliana hussin in d house!

Author: ctjuliana /


WEEEEE!! Alhamdulillah!! it is a wonderful gift!!


Allah is a great listener. His love is abundant without boundaries! Ohh Allah..Thank you :)

5th of April is my result day! waiting patiently at home! asked my friend..Ezzati to give me a good news from auditorium hukm. thanks to her for a helping ears! hehe.

Dengan izin Allah..im able to finish my MD course in UKM within 5 years. Thank you Allah!

i should thank my love ones for tis beautiful gift! without them..without their supports..without their prayers..i think i am not happy as now. huhu

my both parents yg tak henti2 mendengar keluhan anaknye n especially for my mother yg saba mendengar tangisan anaknye..yg selalu visit her daughter jus to make sure her daughter was okey. thank you mak. thank you for the lovely support! n also my siblings for the support! not to be forgotten..my beloved aunty and family members for the supports and dua'..

my far far away fruitheart..i miss you dearly! tis feeling exacerbated my stress and tears. dont now why but tis is wut i've felt. to you..thank you for replying my worryness..my nervousness..ur words to keep me cool. and im really sorry for always bothering you with these such unnecessary stories :( im sorry..it just me missing ur presence :)

and all friends and colleagues! thank you sgt2 for the support!! for the ilmu we shared and ofcos for the moments we had together while we need each other's support!


with tat..Terima kaseh chenta :)

thanks for the dua'..love and care!! :)






~listening to thousand years by katty perry~

hey hye2 again!

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


It has been a very very long time since I left blogging! now i come back again! (trase gian mau menulis maa)

you noe..i have finished my professional exam about 2 weeks ago. seriously..tat was the worst moment i ever felt. lots of stress and tears ofcos! pantang bersolat siket..mesti mengalir air mata. n the worst is..when it come hearing my mother's voice on the phone..and i started to cry and cry. it was not a usual cry u noe? this time was different. it flow heavily without u to have the urge to. hurmm. betullah wut my professor told us tat "if you're given 1 million dollars just to re-seat for the professional exam..it is not something worth for" huhu.

so we have to sit for an OSCE on the first day of exam which consists of 22 stations without rest station ofcos! and the questions given can be varied. any question from tat particular department can come out. huhh.

the second day until the fifth day we have a theory paper. each paper carried 100 marks!! unfortunately..tis is an un-gapped exam. at tat moment u feel like wanna die. very2 exhausting!

So here we go. we able to finish the first week of exhausting theory paper. the following week was for clinical exam!! tis is really2 scary!

for clinical exam we've divided into different groups. there were 6 groups. each group for different day. unlucky for the first group bcos they have to sit for clinical exam on monday! (with 2 days gap before clinical exam..it is something tat even scarier!)

Alhamdulillah for me..my turn was on wednesday! so means i have 4 days gap before i face my clinical exam! on tat particular day..we have to face 1 long case on the morning and 4 short cases on the afternoon. really tiring huh.

and Al-Mighty Allah is just great! Allahuakbar..Subhanallah. he smoothed my clinical exam day. i got fibroid case for my long case and my examiners (prof syu and prof zul) were so nice to me.

first..i've wait patiently in front of my patient's room. dont ask how many selawat and zikir i've read. bcos the nervousness..ur lips keep busy for good :)

once i entered my patient's room..i introduce myself to the patient and my attendant(macik tuh sgt baek. baek sgt!!). macik attendant keep calling me "doctor". owhhh..melted. i mean tis heart :)

u're given 45 minutes to finish clerking and do all relevant physical examinations. so i able to finish it with extra 8 minutes. (dont worry..u'll be provided with stopwatch nnt) bcos my patient is single and nulliparrous..it easier for me to skipped bnyk history :)

haaabes je 45minutes..my attendant brought me to 1 table for me to summarize and organize my thought before presenting my case to d examiners. i've give 15 minutes for tat. 15 minutes seems to be longer kan? but not for this time! it just like 15 seconds!

so the time has come for me to see my examiners then! once i entered..prof syu gave me a very big smile! i apparently became more nervous bcos prof syu is known as silent killer! her smile tak boleh percaye sgt! at tat moment..i forced myself to reply her smile. then after introducing..she invited me to sit and presenting my case.

without interruption from my examiners..I've enjoyed presenting! I'd gained confidence little by little from tat. syukur alhamdulillah..after presenting..both my examiners brought me to the patient again to present my finding on physical examination. and it went smoothly..Alhamdulillah.

questions by questions they asked me untill you not even sedar pon mase 30 minit hamper habes. i have another 7 minutes by tat time..and they both released me :)))

i was so happy. and again Alhamdulillah..

in the afternoon..i have 4 short cases pulak! perghh..tp okeyla. 10 minutes each station. 7 minutes for the examination and 3 minutes for the discussions/questions. as usual..the case given can be varied and random. it based on ur luck wut cases u might get. huhu

for me..i got stroke..hydrocele..polyhydramnios and neonatal screening stations! and all examiners kire mcm ok2 laa. not too nice. not too garang!

FINISH jer exam you are the happiest person!! happy sgt!! rasa sgt lega dr 1 bebanan yg sgt2 besa! :)