HFD Abah

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

" Along sayang abah "

I never used the chances given by Allah to say it out-loud

what kind of daughter would I be?

If i failed to say this precious sentence?

I wanna say it. Desperately want to. but it just too difficult. I've tried once during our family dinner together. Unfortunately this lips turned out to say nothing. ***big sigh....

Why is that so? maybe..the impact of childhood history still affect my emotion. Really. He is the man that i afraid the most. I was too afraid of him. If i can count..I'm the only child whom got scolded so much. I'm not a naughty girl. It just unlucky to be the first child. Maybe. Long time ago..i used to be jealous of my second sister. Abah always loves her. Everything she did, abah always granted her with present/compliment. She was good in sports and abah wanted her child to be an athlete. In contrast, i was good in academic. And that makes me study harder. I want to hear abah say "abah bangga dengan along". at least once.

Alhamdulillah. I heard it twice. satisfied? yes i am. 

Since i entered boarding school (i was 16 by that time) i was the happiest person on earth!! far away from family makes me feel easier to breath. yes. far from any voices that used to scold me for no reason. but yet, i was wrong. it turned out to be the opposite. I miss them. severely homesick during the earliest days in boarding school. I miss Abah man's voices for waking me up at 6a.m in the morning. everyday. I miss abah scolding me for get my sleep late. hahhh....

As i grew up older the more i realized Abah's love towards me. He is the one who helped me when car out of sudden broke down. no matter how far he was at that time, he still say "okey no problem jangan panic. abah datang kejap lg". He is the one who asking me "duit belanja cukup tak". he is the one drove my mom visit me every week during my final exam. he is the one who picked and sent me to anywhere i asked him to. No matter how late the time, how tired he was, he still doing it for his daughter. Until now,he is the one who drove me to where ever place that i need to go (not to say that i didn't own the license!! he volunteered himself). he is the one who get nervous when i had my SPA's interview. yup, he is the man! i believe, every father in this world did the same things. At least willing to do the same things if they are able to do so.

Hence, lets us have some times extra praying on our hero, A man called father. Wish him a good health and wealth. treasures every loves he shows. 

"Abah, jikalau sekalipun along tak berjaya mengucapkan. Along nak abah tahu, Along sayang Abah."


wishes for the sky

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

Most people don't share what they wish for. Even on birthdays, when you blow out the candles, you keep your wish to yourself especially if you want it to come true. 

People says if you want to throw out your heart's wishes, write them on a kite and fly them. 

If i have the chance..
I will write

" I miss you and may Allah watch over you "

on my kite
as my today's wish for the sky happy 

just A little bit :)

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,

 spending the good time with siblings. sorry angah you were at your working place big grin
 arrived and lets have some lunch!!
 me and my lil brother at kaison. looking for some wedding flowers
 these 2 budak yg degil. spent lots of time with them. luckily they had their school holiday
 got our hands painted. thanks Mr.clown
 me and my lil sis. turns out to be crazy. again?
 strawberry candy floss. again thanks Mr.clown for the treat!
really had a fun time with them playg layang2 @taman metropolitan kepong. this is the time when our car got trapped in a parking lot. luckily there was a gentleman helping us! kalau tak sampai malam xbley nak balik!
" marry me..will you? "
 @kaison :)

hahhhhhh..(kepuasan yang melampau batting eyelashes)
good memories and times with siblings! going to miss these sweetest time when i start working soon sad


Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

Wehuuuu. I have a haircut today!! and guess what it gave me a very good mood. Thanks ms. hairstylist. it is a very long time since i had the last haircut. it was about almost 3 years ago i think. you know..there is something about haircut that i realized now. 

It is a good therapy for the unhappy heart (besides spiritual part). Whenever you feel down..frust..heart broken. try to have a haircut!! it relieves you and it really works externally n internally!! it works on me. believe me winking with the new hairstyle and new look you'll gain confidence provided the hairstylist does not screw you hair lah kan..heheh

these are some tips that may help you relieve your frustration while having your haircut. choose the most suitable hairstyle and watch your hair being cut/styled. dont forget to look at the falling hair with the hope things that you frust-ed on would gone with those hairs. 

once it finish say bye2 to those hairs and say hello to the new you!!winking  

isn't she looks beautiful with this hairstyle? love it :)

~currently listening to andai ku bercinta lagi by mojo~


Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

today i found myself not sincere to her
am i turn to be a hypocrite?

my lips say no
but my heart says yes

I'm a bit miserable last 2 weeks and it is still persist until now.  is it me who don't know how to react to it or is it me that tend to be egoist? I'm supposed to be happy. Wajib for me to be happy for her. but why still at this moment i dont feel like happy? this is must be an evil part of me. shuhhhhh go away! i wanna be a good person!

maybe im not sincere enough? why? i should have not to feel this way.. 

sincerity is understood to be truth in words and acts. i should find my own ways on how to sincere myself regarding this. 

*dont want to be miserable due to this kind of feeling!

the pendulum

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

Friend of mine recommend me this bittersweet video. At first i was a bit confused with the story line. but after watching it for 4 times i came to understand the story is all about. Its about the pendulum itself framed a very touched love story. The pure love of a husband to his wife though his wife had loss her memory. Yeah it sounds familiar isn't it? but what amazed me is how talented a person named tekken to illustrate a novel/film into a 3 minutes video. it is a very touching video. indeed. the way the story presented trough a swinging pendulum is amazing. it really2 touched to see the husband hardly resist the swinging pendulum. He wants the pendulum to be stopped from moving so he can be with his wife happily. 

i volunteered myself to google the novel synopsis but unfortunately it is unavailable.
One Japanese commenter offers his interpretation on the novel basis:

“The wife suffered from memory loss after a stroke (1:35), so the husband did everything he could to get her to remember him. He made a telephone from 2 cups and a string like when they were younger, he bought her the wedding veil she wanted but they couldn’t afford when they got married, but before he could give it to her he passed away. Even if it meant stopping the pendulum, he wanted to make his wife happy one last time.”

Another Japanese commenter adds:

“The husband has already passed away, which is why he doesn’t age in the final scene (2:12). The pendulum represents the cruel passage of time, and watching the husband trying to stop it—and then his wife telling him kindly, ‘it’s okay, let go’—is both beautiful and sad.”

love teach you to be strong
love teach you to be tough
love teach you to be patient
love teach you to be grateful

sun & shadow

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

Its me!


Mr. sun and Miss. shadowhappy

more and less

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

Allah gives me more

when I ask for less

why is that so?

 ..he certainly wants me to be a more grateful person. 

Oh Allah. show me the way

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنِي فِيْمَنْ هَدَيْتَ، وَعَافِنِي فِيْمَنْ عَافَيْتَ، وَتَوَلَّنِي فِيْمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ، وَبَارِكْ لِي فِيْمَا أَعْطَيْتَ، وَقِنِي شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلا يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ، إِنَّهُ لا يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ، وَلا يَعِزُّ مَنْ عَادَيْتَ ، تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ. 

‘Oh Allah, guide me along with those whom You have guided, pardon me along with those whom You have pardoned, be an ally to me along with those whom You are an ally to and bless for me that which You have bestowed. Protect me from the evil You have decreed for verily You decree and none can decree over You. For surety, he whom you show allegiance to is never abased and he whom You take as an enemy is never honoured and mighty. Oh our Lord, Blessed and Exalted are You.’

Ohhh Allah..
Show me the way...

"jika seseorang telah beristikharah hendalah dia melakukan apa yang hatinya merasa tenteram dengannya.."

Ohhh Allah..
Show me the way...


Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

So Much Love