my deepest condolence

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , , ,

my deepest condolence

He is a big hearted person but there is so many scars inside.
yet, he still a good person, friend, and i believe he is going to be a good doctor also.

He went tru so many challenges in his life

not enough wut he, himself has had,

now, he has to let go his ultimate beloved one.his mother.

since i knew him
i tot he is a weird person
but i never know wut hes going tru by tat time

untill now, then only i knew.

he approached me
. he told me everything
he needs a friend.
he needs someone to listen and respond him.

he sees the world as a darkest place to live

as he went tru so many darkest tragedies

he has lost his hope
now, his mother has gone

the one that he loves so much

the one that supports him all this while

"whose going to support me further, after my biggest lost?"

be strong my friend

Allah is always there for his servants

anytime you need him
call him.raise your both palms towards him.

pray to him. cry to him. talk to him

Hes listen to you

Keep believe in him

dont lose hope

there will a time

Allah will answer you
be strong my friend

You want to leave medical field now
please.think carefully.
may Allah guide you to the right decision

we, your friends support you
to where your best decision leads you
All the best to you yakuza

~Listening to hear you me, jimmy eat world ~

Fault-finder's criticisms

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,

"I know you are my fren, and I know you may not even mean to make me feel bad, but when you find fault and critically critic in everything I say or do, it makes me feel bad about myself."

"who are you?"
you'r really wrong if you think you are perfect enough.

nobody perfect my dear friend.

Fault-finder friend, this is one of the pathological friendship.

sorry to say, but you are overly critical fault finder friend.

to : white chocolate

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

to : white chocolate

Today i walked on the path alone, and it all started again.
remembering you.

You made me happy. Seeing you smile would shivers down my spine and my heart would start racing. Seeing you smile brightened up my day. I loved your kindness, sincerity, softness and genuine humanity.

I trusted you, confided in you, and let you inside my world. I felt like you could take it all in and not judge me. I felt like I could be myself around you. That you could see both my beauty and my ugliness and still care about me.

You made me feel like I could take a chance on you,and not regret it. are my white chocolate.

I never said any of this out loud so you never knew. For that I am a coward. always have been.I wanted to tell you, I wanted to scream it from the top of my both lungs that it was you that made my heart race, palms sweat, get butterflies in my tummy, and words caught in my throat when I looked at you.

still you are my white chocolate.

~ Listening to stranded, Jenifer Paige ~

strike the stress!!

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,

"Lets keep them rolling guys"

I had a great weekend with them, Mellisa and Mahsuri..=)

Pektis bowling la kononnyer..before KTDI's bowling tournament. Hehe, kalau tak kerane merit, tak ade nye saye rajen nk masok tournament..hehe..Kitorg pektis bukan untuk terer, tapi sebab takot perkare2 yang memalukan terjadi semase hari tournament. Traumatised sket bab maen bowling ni..=D

Dah la ramai org maen!! satu kolej kot. Bayangkanlah.

Tapi, my good day kot. For the first time dapat high marks!hehe..3 strikes in a row. Turkey time.kehkehkeh..

my luck. Honestly.

before this, kalo maen.MasyaAllah.Ta terkate betape teroknyer.hehe

Our group chupa chupps, win some prizes.Good job guys. Ape yg penting, we did strike the stress!! sangat enjoy..

i think im gonna love playing bowling after dis ;)

~ listening to meet me halfway, black eyed peas~

A Day@Putrajaya

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , ,

Certain pictures taken @Putrajaya..

thanks abang,
laen kali, nk photoshoot lagi... =D

kisah aku dan dia :)

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , ,

hes starring at me!!and im starring at him too!!

hes sitting on the bed.and im walking pass infront of him.

ders something in him i attracted to
yes..his eyes
i love to look his eyes

Today i met someone in the ward tat is very special, he got something that reminds me to one person tat dearly to me. Reminds me to arwah toklang. His eyes especially.

We have a great conversation. I managed to complete my clerking session as well as physical examination successfully. Sadly, pakcik has heart disease in which it becomes deteriorating now. As i feel his heart beat, i felt pity to him. His heart beating so fast, so strong untill u can appreciate the pulsatile apex beat in him. Same thing like arwah had once, long time ago.

Pakcik NS Sulaiman was his name. He loves to tell story. And ofcos, im so enjoy to hear his stories.

"name anak ni Juliana ye" he read my name tag while im copying his medical record.

"org name Juliana ni lembut.Lemah lembut orgnyer". Wut u expect me to do? ofcos la aku tengah tersengeh mcm kerang busuk di waktu begini. (perasan!hehe)

"mane de pkcik, saye x lembut pon". Pakcik tersengeh. So do i.

"tapi ingt ni, org name Juliana ni lembut lembut pon tapi kuat merajok"

" ke. Pakcik salah la. Saya x kuat merajok pon"

Pakcik tersengeh laen macam!!

"betol la pkcik, saye dok pujok org selalu ade laa". Pakcik tersengeh lg.

"balik nnti, cube anak tnyer mak ataw pakwe. Empunye diri mmgla tak ngaku".

" ke?"

aku pon call mak.."mak, along ni kuat merajok ke?". mak pon jawab dengan betahnye. Aku tersenyum puas hati.

After finish copying pakcik's medical record, aku mintak diri dr pakcik untuk blk.

"pakcik, esok kite jmpe lg ye"

"klo pkcik ade lg esok, dpt la jmpe nak"

I looked at him. Without saying a word, I left. Dont want to say good bye to Pakcik. As i wish i will see him tomorrow. For sure.

He touches my heart as i was touched before.

Well, he gave me his contact number. He is my first patient officially!weeee =D

how vanilla's taste like?

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in Vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling I wish you were here

this song uses to many colours isn't it?
there are black, blue, white, and violet
which symbolize different tots

well, i dedicate dis song to someone out der

~ owh im in love with owl city ~

i wait..

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

i wait, i wait, i wait
i wait for you to come
and i still waiting,

you're not coming
tired of waiting
in the pouring rain
i left..

..silent is way better..

~listening to already gone, kelly clarkson~

simply, bcos i miss you :)

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , , ,

Nur Nadiatul Asyirah

many faces of Syira

Raja Khusma Balqis

many faces of Aqis

too see they both grow up
in front of my eyes
really amazed me
sometimes i wish they stop growing
so that, they can stay cute and sweet like dis
so that, i can hold them tightly
right into my arms
how i miss you both, love.

"selama aku masih bernafas
masih sanggup berjalan
ku kan slalu memujamu

meski ku tak tahu lagi
engkau ada di mana
dengarkan aku ku merindukanmu"

~ Syirah's favorite song, ost Sekar ~

Adek : "along, bile along nak balik, adek rindu"
Along : "along balik minggu depan k adek, along rindu jugak"


to say, to ask..

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,

Its friday night again. As usual i can't barely study on friday. Dont noe why. For me, friday nite is already weekend! Holiday laa.. :) Too tired today. i had a very good time with my friend, Mellisa, we went to Mid Valley megamall this afternoon. We watched movie called 'the time traveler's wife'. Hmmm, the story not bad, liltle bit boring..ehe, yet, still got some moral values to be learnt from it. Then, we went to Pc fair and bought several things from der.. ^_^ ahaaa!

After got back..i watched grey's anatomy season 2. Sadly, i did not have the latest season to be watched. Neither the latest season of houseMD. Too bad. =( I really wanna make sure by next week, i got all the latest season of Grey's anatomy as well as houseMD.. :)

While watching, i got intrested in one of Meredith Grey's dialogue, which sounds like dis..

“Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need."

- Meredith Grey-

Im so, so agree with her..Hard for me to explain why is it becomes so hard...

~Listening to run, snow patrol~

ow..ow..wrong side i guess!!

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,

Today is the day where i saw an emergency resuscitation in the ward right in front of my eyes. Everybody get nervous, every steps they took so fast until u feel your visual field of your eye balls are too limited to catch they actions.

Doctors and nurses rushing here and there to take some equipments. Their voice were tremendously loud, shouting to each other to alert everyone in the room.

Before the minutes this emergency fated to be happened,
the patient is sitting on the bed aided by cardiac table in front of her. That was an elderly chinese woman patient. She is so thin, until you can count every costal ribs without your hands to feel and search for them. Furthermore, she was in mild respiratory distress as she wore a simple adult nasal face mask. She looked so pale. Thats the reason why they want to do a chest tube insertion.

So many people in the procedure room. The registra, house officer, nurses, medical students, and nurses student. Of cos, with one elderly patient at the centre of the room with wire all over her body. Chest tube insertion begins.

House officer starts to clean the left anterior chest area. While the nurses busy helping registra prepare for all the equipments needed.

"why so many people in dis room?" one of speciallist entered and asked us (medical students).

"have you all ask the patient's permission to see this procedure at the first hand?"

Everyone got stick their mounth silently. Me too, obviously.

"have you all know the indications for the chest tube insertion? or you guys just standing here, watching and after that you guys bussy asking for signature to fill up your log book?"


"we all know the indications doctor, we have finished respiratory workshop last week, didn't we?" i whispered it to myself quietly.

Shes agry and get out from the room.

In few seconds, everyone concentrating to the procedure again. The registra and house officer looked nervous because the patient seems to be unstable after a coulple of voices coming out telling us that she is in pain.

Another senior registra coming in.

"why is it so hard? it just a pneumothorax"

She takes turn then. After a while, the registra can make it. She got the chest tube inserted,but..unfortunately, blood coming put from the tube profusely.

It suppose to be no blood coming out, bcos, it is pneumothorax, not hemothorax!

Patient then becomes gradually unconcious..shes collapse. Lying so weak on her bed.

"aunty..aunty..wake up..bangun aunty" they shout.

No response.

This is the moment where everybody get highly reactive. All faces turn red as their blood flushing up to their face hemodynamically.


Specialist comes in. "Im sorry doctor" registra sorry to wut has happened.

"Semue orang keluar sekarang juga" KJ asking us to get out from the room.

We, still standing outside trying so hard to see what happen tru litle small spaces between the doors.

Thing happened without any notices or signs. unexpectedly. If it is fated to be happened. It happens anyway. But, try atleast to prevent it. Do it properly, confidently, smoothly..InsyaAllah, everything going to be allright.

Pity to that aunty. hope you'll be okey by now. May Allah bless you. Amin.

iklan bersama kit kat ;)

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

sape nk kawen ke..
nk smbut birthday ke..
nk smbut annyversary..
dan memerlukan photographer..
do contact these persons...=D


hubungi kami:
aqeel: 019-4716844 / 019-2716844
ezwan : 012-3223436
nazirul: 013-4567870

thank you ^_^