pieces of me

This 6th semester has comes to its end. Tomorrow is the first paper, Internal Medicine. Wahh, i never been this scared before. As i reading respiratory chapter just now, suddenly i stood up. I felt the pulses of mine beating so fast. The finger's pulses especially. Its so hard to feel end-peripheral pulses, but today i can feel it. This is so called pre-exam syndrome. Palpitation and adrenaline rush all over body!

Past 2 days i was so stressed out. Its 4 am in the morning by that time. I was trying to focus over and over. But i can't. I read the sentence over and over untill i could visualize it. but nope! its not happened. unfortunately.

As i remember, as i was to start focus on reading again. I cried. No, no im not crying. But, the tears coming out spontaneously. "its so many too read"..as i whispered those words. The tears coming out over and over. i was trying to hold them back, but my body and mind overrides the stress more that i can hold. Even i failed to suppress the urge to cry. I let it running down on my both cheeks. I called mak. Calling her at 4am in the morning really surprised her.

"buat yg terbaek setakat yang mampu, sekarang pegi ambik air sembahyang. Sembahyang hajat. Bace surah Ar-rahman.."

this is the second time she remembering me of this tips! how come i forgot of doing this. i smiled to myself. A tender smile of "kelalaian" diri.

You know wut? After doing that..its so relief! =)

All the best to me and friends. May Allah bless us. Amin =))


~ listening to hold-my hands ~