never...

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:


today..
i feel lil bit different.."why?"
because..
one of my colleague..in fact, she is my groupmate..
she was found to be collapse early dis morning..
prof "Z" seeking all over to find my superviser, Dr. "N"..
pity of her..after had about 2 days sleepless nights,
struggling to finish up her case write ups, struggling to finish up deliveries,her body and mind cant stand anymore..
i feel so sad when i heard tat news..suddenly i feel lost..

Dis evening, when i was on the way going back hostel,
while waiting for the lift to come up and lift me down to ground floor,
i stood up, stare, and standing emptiness for a moments..

"why am i here?"..

"because u are in ur way to be a doctor"

"why is it so hard?"

"because..because..because..."

"oww..oww..u got no answer for tat"Smiley Faces


"tingg..."
i heard the lift "ting"ing..
but i had no intention to get in into the lift..
i just dont noe why,
but i just cant..like i didnt know how to take a steps anymore..

"Dr. siti, u gonna just standing there n look blindly to the stainless lift, isnt it?"

one familiar voices that successfully brought me up to the reality..


i was just "haaaaa?"..

"u looked so tired, go back n have a rest" - Dr."P".. i do admire him~

walking alone to my hostel..
i was thinking of "her", my colleague..
pity her..
wish her to be better soon..

i feel so tired..
tired for all these things..
dem tired, but yet..still long way to go..

never..never in my mind before,
to be a doctor is this hard....


~empiness~

8 comments:

l e n a said...

takutnye dgr..i hope she's ok
n hope ur ok too~
take care of urself k jue!

good luck to all of us ;)

FaDhLi said...

now u know..
hehhe..
tapi after posting o&g, memang akan rasa cam seronok lak o&g..
so nikmati selagi masih ada..

miss AIN said...

just keep on moving beb..
u r not alone, we are always accompany u!=))

ctjuliana said...

lena : im okey fara..thnx for ur concern..
same goes to u too..internal medicine oso not tat easy..so many thgs to be covered..espclly buku talley + kumar n clerk~ =D
good luck!!

ctjuliana said...

fadhli : mmg best ong sbb laen dr laen..new things to learn..smethg yg x pnh tgk time 1st n 2nd year..tapi...
tapi..tapi..tapi..sgt stress woo..

ctjuliana said...

beb : yes we are not alone..rmai doctor2 and prof2 kat skeliling kite kan..kan..kan..haha

Silence |n Here said...

i just love the word Doctor! aiyak! last week aku pegi medical check up.. Dr Nur panggil aku Dr.Machine! yippie yea!

ctjuliana said...

ahaha..
tuh pon Doctor, gk weyh..
cume subjek je laen..
yippie2!! =D

:)) ;)) ;;) :D ;) :p :(( :) :( :X =(( :-o :-/ :-* :| 8-} :)] ~x( :-t b-( :-L x( =))

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