insomnia

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,


insomnia?

i don't think so
"u jus thinking about it so much"
don't get me wrong

i wont complaining about O&G anymore

bcus, today is the las day
, so,
why should i??

i was happy for tat (big claps!!)



i was thinking about them, my two best buddies since i was in form four

They,Siti Aminah Hazwani Mohd Azlan, and Praveetha Balachanran..

Today, here, at dis moment, im not being emotional, im not being in wut so called "mengade"," show off", furthermore, dis is the way i express myself.. this is the place where i feel free, comfort to spend my time on..to sit and reflect.

Back to the story, "why i was thinking about them?" Something has happened lately..( or i jus realized it now?)..Something has gone wrong lately..(or i i jus realized it now?)..

Im hurting both of them, And ofcos tat was the last thing i would do to them, "its quiet easy to say , but the fact is, sometimes u wont realized tat other people's heart might hurt for every single word you say, and every single action you do".. i was so lucky..

Lucky to have them with thousands reasons for tat..we were so closed..2 years in beseri tighten us in one relationship so called "friendship"..we used to share our stories, gossips, studies, foods, drinks, beds, clothes, everything..we used to laugh and cry together..

I still remember, still fresh in here all the things we had gone tru all these times..now, we were far apart, everyone has their own commitment..but, its not an accepted reason for what has happened recently.. Im sorry, for wat has happened..i jus didnt realized tat u might hurt..


""Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?""

"so many times..whenever i need someone to talk..i jus cant, afraid u may not interested to it.. :)"

Its so true dear fren,.. its so true..


Im not being pathetic, this is the biggest guilt i ever felt in our friendship..i didnt mean to hide anything from you,Even too far for me to lie to you..believe me dear fren, " i wont change for one". If ever u feel tat way, please tell me in which part of it so tat i can reflect and realize..

Im not being defensive, for myself by writting this entry, Jus its important for me to let you noe tat, u are my bes friend dear fren..yes you are, since 4 years ago until now, u'r still be.. Sorry for making u feel tat way dear fren, u were jus concern about me..and i've made an early assumption, which drive me to hide from you..



~i missed our time dearly~
Listening to lifehouse, Disarray


6 comments:

Dyas said...

Nice blog!!

miss AIN said...

beb..
dun think too much wif that!
i think they feel a bit insecure..
they worry if they might losing u..
in fact,nothing can taking u away from them..
u r still their friend..forever!
hopefully, everything will be fine..
u need to explain to them,
so that they will understand ur situation better..
yeah,its quite easy for me to say, but its hard for u to done it..
but, u have to try it once..

ctjuliana said...

Dyas : thnx fren..

beb : i noe..tapi..tats d problem..apesal la aku ni dungun sagt!!haishhh...

miss AIN said...

beb..
dungun kat terengganu beb!;p

ctjuliana said...

dungu lah..
cisssssssssssssss..=DD

sahma said...

insecure
worry

are not the words

ever fell like being isolated?
you would not ever worry for that
its upsetting.
very.

:)) ;)) ;;) :D ;) :p :(( :) :( :X =(( :-o :-/ :-* :| 8-} :)] ~x( :-t b-( :-L x( =))

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