"if you die, im alone"

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:



Dr. James Wilson : The operation is in 2 hours and i would like you to be there..with me..

Dr. Gregory House : No..

Dr. James Wilson : But..why?

Dr. Gregory House : Bcos if you die, i'm alone..




~ listening to lose you, pete yorn ~







n o m o o d

Author: ctjuliana / Labels:

hey bloggie!

today,

i have no mood all day long,

dont noe why or i just pretending to


coming days or nights,

please bring back my mood,




complicated me, jules.

i'm into them

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , ,


i'm into medicine. i'm into cameras. i'm into pictures
i'm into all of them

Due budak kecik ni da macam model tetap ku!! hehe..mesti da boring tengok asik muke dorg jek yang terpampang dalam blog nih kan?..nak wat cam ne, da tade model len! big grin

Sometimes, have you ever feel tat children are the most innocent people in this world? their facial expressions are purely natural.bak kate orang, suci gitu. Their eyes, full with joy, shinning bright without any worries.

Once in a while, im going back home. I'll catch their beutiful expressions. There are thousands of their pictures in my lappy. thinking too delete some of the pictures, tapi sayang nak delete.

Pictures tell us thousands of story and feeling winking




~ listening to Agustana, sweet and low~

tak de pape

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,


Alhamdulillah
takde pape yg teruk berlaku, cume kerete habes, x berbentuk kerete. Angah dlm keadaan terkejut sebab di langgar dari belakang dengan inertia yang sangat kuat. Lelaki bw kereta taw2 je lah. lebih2 lagi kalau org mude. Kalau x habes meter board tuh tak sah.

happy, sbb tak de pape berlaku happy


~ listening to like a prayer, glee cast ~

30 misscalls =(

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , ,

"along, angah accident.."

"tipooo"

"betul lah. abah tengah tggu kete kene tarek. nanti adek call along balek eh"

20 minutes past, and my handset still silent like usual. "huhhh". without waiting any longer. i made a call. 30 misscalls within 5 minutes. Neither abah, mak nor angah answer my phonecalls.

GERAM + TAKUT + RISAU. all mixed into one feeling, hati memberontak nak balek rumaah!! cam ne nak balek, hari dah malam =( why nobody answer my phonecalls. risau sangat nih =(

Terkejut. yes, tats wut i feel rite now. things tat i scared the most since i entered orthopaedic ward finally happened. As long as i remembered, hati rase sgt x sedap since last week. Tak tahu kenape. I remind my family specially angah, adek dan abah to be careful.

"angah, bw kete moto elok2 taw. pesan kat abah same. ari2 along tengok org saket accident. tak sanggop nak tgk kalau family yang accident"

and tonite, the news i never want to hear suddenly......sad

desperately hoping they pick up my phonecalls, or else im gonna crazy.

tak senang dudok da nih

and i teribly hoping, noting bad happened.

Tolonglah ya Rabb. Amin.






where are you when...

Author: ctjuliana /


"Siti Juliana, can you help me?"

"sure"

"can you pull that table close to me?"

She smiled. Obviously she looked happier than previous days. I asked her, "aunty you look happier laaa today. May i know why?"

"Of cos im happy, i can move my right leg now. Its 3 days after the operation, the pain has gone away a bit. So that im happy lah" She persistently smiled. I quit surprise, my patient, madam Chiang, shes a 68 elderly woman, but her appearance doesn't fit her age. She looks younger than that! "Aunty, you noe wut ar, you looks younger than your age. Your face still red-pinkish, like you put some blusher on your cheek". "I like to drink Brand's pati ayam. Now, im still practising it you noe. Its good for your health. Try la Siti, i give you one"..haha, very nice, soft spoken aunty.

"you know ar Juliana, im happy because my daughter came yesterday. She took mc for a day to take care of me. She washed my hair, my body, talk to me, fed me. I feel so comfortable and happy now" She smiled, showing her happiness.

Sape tak happy kan, bile ade org jage mase kite saket? Tapi, sometimes its too sad in orthopaedic wards, most of the patient are elderly people. Pangkat atok2, nenek2..too sad to see they are lonely without anybody to take care of them. Nak harap kan nurse kat ward? Dorang pon banyak keje. Banyak patient to observed. Hmmm, sometimes im wondering, where are their sons, daughters or at least relatives to take care of them. Nak tengok visitors visiting them pon susah sangat. "busy sangat ke?"..

Ade patient yang patah tangan, nak mkan pon ssh. They need somebody to feed them. Ade yang patah tulang leher, kene pakai halo vest with stand still straight neck. Macam mane nk makan kalo leher xley nk bend? Makan pon dah ade gaye macam robot je..Sometimes, i feel proud to see them live independently without anyone to help them. Sometimes, i feel so pity towards them. Do their family or relative know it is the best time to show love and care towards the patient? Ade sampai satu kes nih, bile doctor nak mintak consent from patient's son to do an operation. He aggressively refused to come bcos too busy. Until he ask the doctor to take consent from the patient himself. Kejam kan??

"Aunty, knape tak makan nih?" one of the nurse asked one elderly chinese patient with hip spica. She looked too ill and cachectic. She showed her refusal to eat. "Membazir je" the nurse replied. I walked close to that aunty. "Aunty kenape taknak makan?". Shes not answering me. "Kalau tak makan, nanti tak baek". "saya mahu anak saya"..aunty told me to call her daughter, but she did not know the contact number. "lama sudah saya tak jumpe anak saya. saya mahu mati". As i know, that aunty staying at private home nursing. She had only 2 children. a son and a daughter. Anak2 die busy kot.

"itu sebab aunty kene makan, bile aunty sihat, aunty bole jmpe anak aunty.." "ya kah"..her eyes shining brightly with hopes. Desperately hoping to see her children. Kesian kan??

Betullah orang dulu dulu kate, seorang ibu boleh jage 10 anak. Tapi, 10 anak belom tentu dapat jage seorang Ibu.

Pengajaran buat diriku dan semue.


"where are you, when you needed the most"






yes, you are

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,



Everyday is so wonderful, then suddenly,its hard to breath
Now and then I get insecure, from all the pain
I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring me down oh nooo!
So don't you bring me down today

No no no no

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Tryin hard to fill that emptiness,
The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone
Ain't that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down oh noo no no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring you down oh nooo
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
No matter what we say
We're the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
the sun will always shine
And tomorrow we might awake on the other side

Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes words won't bring us down
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring us down
So don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today


you are beautiful
Yes you are in every single way. Broken heart doesn't means the days become sorrow and gloomy. Give a bright beautiful smile to the world and the world will shine your days as beautiful as yours..




happy mother's day

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , ,


happy world mother's day ibu ibu sekalian

Dear,


Mak, Aunty,

Selamat Hari Ibu



"the greatest thing being a women is to be a mother"


love , jules



Various Exhibitions @ museum negara

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: ,


macam tak percaye la plak last week pegi muzium negara!haha, as i remember, it was 17 years ago since i went to museum negara for the first time. Mase tu pon sebab ade rombongan sekolah tadika, kalau tak..memang sah la tak pegi sane. Kesimpulannyer, nanti kalau dah ade anak, bawalah anak2 anda pegi muzium negara semase dorg maseh kecik..bile da besar nanti, mmg conf xkan pegi..haha

best la plak pegi sane tgk exhibitions. Macam-macam exhibition ade! Exhibition konsep perkahwinan artis2 terkenal..included Dato' Siti taw. Cincin tuh, die punyer la tuh. Besa gile! hmmm..ape lagi ek? haaa, ade pameran zaman pra sejarah sampai lah sekarang! Monumen-monumen sejarah pon ade banyak! beliung, tembikar, tulang-tulang, tengkorak, kapak, lekir..smue ade laaah. Bile tengok pameran2 tuh teringat balek mase belaja sejarah dulu. Tah manelah pegi semue ingatan2 sejarah tuh. Tah ingat! ni la namenye, kalau study untuk exam!

Yang paling best is pameran keranda! the coffin exhibition! scary dump2 woo..nmpk real sgt! dengan sound effect ala-ala hantu tuh mmg jadik! dengan lighting yg agk2 scary tuh pon menarek! Yang bestnyer, pameran tuh cite psl cara pengebumian org2 zaman dlu dari pelbagai negeri / bangsa and budaya. Kreatif gk org2 zaman dlu ni..pelik pon ade! Cara pengebumian org zaman dulu ikot status sama ade berhante atau x berharte. Kalau org berharta, cara pengebumian mayat secara baring mcm org tido. Kalau org tak berharte pulak secara baring tapi diikat kedue kaki pada dada. Kesian kan? Kat situ jugak, ade macam2 keranda. Ade keranda atas pokok! ade keranda dlm tempayan! ade keranda dlm sampan atau perahu. Haaa, zaman dulu2, kalau kebumi mayat dalam perahu atau sampan tandanyer org tu suci..xdek dosa! huhu, kalau zaman sekarang ni..ade mayat dlm perahu makne die da lain dah.

Pameran Asean pon ade. Mempamerkan kebudayaan negara2 asean yg ade!! macam2 ade ok, x larat nak cite pnjg2..heee~

Tiket murah jek..Rm2-Rm3 jek. kalau pameran asean free jek taw! so, pegi jangan x pegi. Bile lagi dpat tgk bende2 mcm tuh kan? lagipon, bile lagi nak g menjejakkan kaki ke muzium negara..hehehe..



Awan Biru @ PD

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , ,


Had a blast day with Ana walaupon hari sgt panas macam kat padang pasir.Well, i must say tat it was a very tiring day for me but, we had lots for fun. Thanx ana, thanx for your time and efforthappy


sgt best tapi got burn..heeee~



alhamdulillah. syukur

Author: ctjuliana / Labels: , , , ,


Alhamdulillah.


Akhirnye lulus jugak subjek O&G ku. Syukur. Terime kaseh atas nikmat rezeki yang Engkau berikan, ya Rabb.


Terime kaseh. Terime kaseh sangat kepada mak ngan abah, especially mak dan aunty, yang memahami kerenah perangai anaknye ini dikala stress dan tertekan. Mak, along sayang sangat kat mak! (terase bergenang air mate seyh!!)

Kepade die yang sentiase ade di sane yg sudi mendengar keluhan hati ini, yang menggembirekan hati ini dikala duka dan menenangkan diri ini dikala tertekan! alunan music mu melenyapkan stress ku! (puitis tuh..=D) time kaseh banyak banyak awak. Saye sayang awak sangat sangat!

Kawan kawan!! Doa kite bersame, semangat dan keazaman kite bersama. Akhirnya Allah memakbulkan doa kite! Alhamdulillah. Sesungguhnya, kawan seperjuangan adalah sumber kekuatanmu juge! Maseh teringat memori bersame sewaktu berada di depan dewan peperiksaan. Terpancar riak kerisauan dan harapan di setiap wajah.

Kawan kawan yang mendoakan diri ini juge. Terime kaseh tak terhingga. Kata kata semangat dan doa yang diberikan amat membantu diri ini. Sayang kamu semue!

Kepada Prof Hatta, no words can describe how i feel rite now. Thanks Prof!! Terime kaseh sebab luluskan saye. I'll remember your advice, "be more confident". I will prof. Iwill. InsyaAllah.

Akhir kata, Tahniah kepada kawan kawan yang lulus. Kepada yang tidak bernasib baik, masih ada peluang dan harapan. Kami doakan korang semue. Di setiap ape yang berlaku tentu ada hikmat dan rahmat di sebaliknye.

to my dearest housemate, "kau kuat Ain. kau kuat. U just proved me tat you are strong"



Alhamdulillah.